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Search Results 0 to 12 of about 13 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Nov 7, 2012 7:00pm PST
looking at. and florida is, and again we are live so i don't know if this is okay, but florida is tonight a guy i gigantic bubble. that's two close to call and ohio too close to call. we're obviously looking at cuba where cubans go to live and jews go to die. we'll be providing real time analysis. >> i'm loaded with media analysis capabilities. live monitoring results and opinion as they happen to a live stream of instan instantaneous l time micro blogging. >> stephen: for the lablogging. >> jon: that is just the appetizer, jon and let me demonstrate. this is a sweet right here. this is an actual real time tweet. it says i personally voted for mitt romney. so it's that single tweet is any indication, jon, get used to saying president romney because he's going to win tonight in a landslide. >> jon: that's fascinating. >> that just happened jon moments ago and i'm explaining it to you now in real time. this is only a start. the election center has full capabilities through a protest we call cross screen transferability which allows us to recontexturallize our real time info for monitorri
Comedy Central
Nov 5, 2012 11:30pm PST
dats-- can dats are pulling out all the stops. >> here is the president's final two day, florida, new hampshire, colorado, ohio, wisconsin and eye watch. let me show you the mitt romney schedule. he's trying to go into pennsylvania. it's florida, it's virginia, it's new hampshire. >> stephen: so if you live in one of these states, "the colbert report" is now issuing a severe candidate warning. be prepared with fresh water and flashlights and please, if you have a single working class female suburban undecided vote never your home, cover her with plywood. or she could just get sukd up into a vortex of pandering. now folks, over a year ago i promised to make you a player in this election thanks to colbert super pac. you know our motto, making a better tomorrow -- >> tomorrow! >> stephen: i remember when i came up with that slogan. seems just like yesterday, yesterday. if are you looking for a little proof of just how influential we have been in this election, well, listen mitt romney today. giving his closing arguments. >> your work is making a difference. the people of the world are wa
Comedy Central
Nov 6, 2012 11:30pm PST
like ohio, in places like florida where he just couldn't afford to. and i think it's a triumph of an actual campaign against pure cynicism and lies. and i think that is a huge victory for the american people, i really do. [crowd cheering] >> stephen: thank you so much for joining me. >> thank you. >> stephen: please come again. >> will do. >> stephen: and please tell your liberal friends i will see them in [bleep] andrew ♪ ♪ everybody. [crowd cheering] you know, in addition to the presidential race, tonight the leadership of congress could change hands. or in the case of senate minority leader mitch mcconnell, amphibians. they only need to pick up four seats and they'll seize control. with that in mind let's take a look at some of the key races. the colbert report can now inform former governor angus king has won making the first senate seat ever held by a burger king menu item. [laughter] and folks, this is true. this king is an independent. you say good-bye to bipartisan grid lock and say hello to tri partisan grid lock. through you with melted better, maine. now in in
Comedy Central
Nov 6, 2012 2:30pm PST
about a lot of other stupid countries. (laughter) and this being boca raton, florida, they hit all the important ones. >> israel is a true friend, it is our greatest ally in the region. >> israel. our closest friend in the region. >> they have to abide by their treaty with israel. >> our ally israel. >> our bond w israel. >> israel. >> israel. >> israel. >> israel. >> israel. >> israel. (laughter) >> stephen: i was playing a drinking game last night where i took a shot of manischewitz every time -- (cheers and applause) every time someone said "israel" and by the end of the debate i was totally diabetic. (laughter) but, folks, this wasn't just about israel it was also about countries that pose a threat to israel. a threat that obama has done nothing to stop. >> we're four years closer to a nuclear iran. we're four years closer to a nuclear iran. >> yes. four years after obama was elected, four whole years have passed. (laughter) the president did nothing to stop the march of time (laughter) not only is iran four years closer to a nuclear bomb, if you think about it, everybody is. e
Comedy Central
Nov 8, 2012 11:30pm PST
that can't help. but of course florida is still being counted. so folks i got to till, i am still hanging in there and i'm checking for updates on the campaign's i'm with mitt app. okay. it still works. and it lets you take photos with little messages that show your support for mitt romney. i tweeted this one today. (laughter) i'm with mitt. then later i tweeted i'm stand being mitt. and eventually i'm in the fetal position with mitt. but ultimately, folks this election only matters so much. real change comes from private citizens making a difference in their local communities. the woman who runs the soup kitchen. teens who clean up a vacant lot. the guy who fishes golf balls out of the pond and sells them back to you at half price. thank you for your service. and every so often we celebrate those heroes on my show. and in a segment we call difference makers. (cheers and applause) and tonight folks, we're doing it again. in our waeninged economy the nations art funding is at an all-time low. leaving many americans to ask who cares. but here in new york's capital of arts and culture. >> an
Search Results 0 to 12 of about 13 (some duplicates have been removed)